Sometimes your activities on the internet can come back and bite you in the ass. I learned that not-so-shocking lesson recently, when I found out an old friend I had spoke to a few times on Twitter was using the information he had found there against me. It didn’t really come a surprise with this particular person, but it was unexpected considering the context. I haven’t spoken to this guy in person/seen him in years, and have only spoken to him online sporadically. I was under the (false) impression that we were on decent terms. Word came back quite quickly that he was saying some pretty vicious things about me and things that had happened six years ago out of the blue, not to mention some shit about my family.

I spent a few days in Rageville, USA bitching about the unprovoked behaviour and starting emails outlining exactly how I felt about his two-faced bullshit. The weekend provided a welcome distraction in the form of board games, a liberal amount of drinking and running around another friends farm oohing and aahing over baby animals. When I got back I felt a lot more clear headed and came to a few conclusions:

1. You can whine all you want about people talking shit about you, but it really boils down to personal responsibility. I knew this particular person has had a history of being toxic and dishonest, and yet I still communicated with him. I can tell myself I had my reasons (long history, nostalgia, concern, pick your poison) for wanting to talk, but if you give drama a venue into your life, it’ll happen: big surprise. Cut toxic people out of your life and spare no expense in doing so. I’m not saying you shouldn’t forgive people for old wrongs, but that doesn’t mean you have to allow them back into your life. 

2. Privacy settings exist for a reason. People are curious by nature, and if you leave your information floating around out there someone will find it. Be conscious of what you’re leaving and who can see it. On my end, I’ve upped my security settings on all the social network sites I’m signed up for, even ones I don’t use like MySpace and Hi5. I deleted a few and made use of the block button on the ones I wanted to keep but didn’t want to be as self-censoring on. I also Googled my name, aliases and known email addresses to see what came up, since sometimes this can turn up old forum accounts or haunts that may have been forgotten.

If nothing else, I’m glad that this situation has prompted me to think more carefully about who knows where to find me online, and what types of people they are.